Abortion on trial?

I have just caught up on  the BBC 2 programme “Abortion on trial”

This got me thinking about my own views, pro life or pro choice or maybe even somewhere in between?

As a young probably somewhat naive girl I would have stood for hours and told you about how I was pro life and how i could never “murder” my baby. I just couldn’t see any plausible reason to abort your unborn baby. 

Until December of 2005 when I did just that I had an abortion. I was 17 and madly in love with what I now realise an extremely virbaly abusive man nearly 10 years my senior. He was desperate to keep the baby but after finding out I was nearly 18weeks pregnant and honestly had no idea I was in shock!. My partners were very supportive to which ever choice I made but also helped me realise that he was not the man I thought he was and that I wasn’t ready for a baby. 

For me the hardest part was that I had almost no time to decide and on December 23rd I went In to my local hospital. It was all over with in a blink of an eye and to be honest it is a complete blur.  

But now clearly my views have changed somewhat and the say really is prevalent here; 

You can’t judge or make a decision on a situation you have never been in.

So for me I found this documentary particularly interesting and listening to the women’s stories very at times heart wrenching. 

However there was one thing I am still struggling with, there was a man on the programme who’s ex partner had aborted his child after her begged her not to and even stated he would raise the child alone?

How is it right that a woman can decided to keep a baby even if the father isn’t interested, but a man has no choice but to loose a child?

This is where I am stuck between a rock and a hard place?

I do not feel any woman should have to carry a child for 9months that she does not want, it is to mentally disturbing.

I do not feel anyone should be forced to abort a child they wish to keep.

I do not feel anyone should loose a child that could have a loving home, what ever the means. 

I do feel every person has the right to have a child.

Are you seeing my point/problem? 

I would never say a woman should have to carry and birth a child she doesn’t want but I also feel a man shouldn’t have to stand by and watch a child he wants to love and bring up be aborted?
What are your feelings? 

Pro life or pro choice? 

How do you feel about this gentleman’s situation? 

Please share your feeling and thought on this somewhat controversial subject.

Much love 

Rhianna xx

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Discipline

Back to the drawing board it seems!

My daughter as honestly a breeze to discipline, say no and she’ll stop or leave it alone for instance. And now she’s coming up for 4, she’s trying to push the boundaries but honestly I just threaten to shout (she hates shouting)  and she instantly stops!

Now on the other hand there is my monster of a son. To him no means carry on! He just doesn’t seem to respond to anything. He’s 21months and so his understanding is limited ? I’m considering starting a naughty spot with him but is he to young? Will he understand? Or am I just going to spend the entire day putting him back after he wonders off?? 

I feel so confused, I think ive read to many articles and they have scrambled my brain. Sometimes I feel “that’ll never work he’s to little”. I wonder if that me holding him back and he could possibly get it?  

OH I NEED HELP

But something needs to be done, don’t get me wrong he’s not a complete terror but he also can’t get away with bad behaviour?

So I begging for any advice or tricks you can give me. 

It feels silly asking as my daughter is so well behaved, it’s just what worked with her don’t work for him. 

Much love 

rhianna xx 

Potty training #3

As I have mentioned before in ahhh potty training I potty trained my daught some time ago now. Night training proved much easier than I could have ever imagined, not one accident!  I lifted her for about 4nights but she never peed then on the 5th night she woke up very upset. Oh no I thought but no she needed to go so I quickly scurried her to the toilet realising she had already worked out herself to wake if her bladder was full. Which was fantastic the only down fall was every time she needed  to go she would scream mummy from her bed for me to go and help her to the toilet. 

Until tonight she shouted me but by the time I had reached the top of the stairs she was out of bed and in the bathroom, such a big girl. 

I honestly feel people put to much pressure on potty training and what age it should be done. Well at least in my experience I had a lot of unhelpful comments such as,  so and so is potty trained already , I potty trained my children at 2. I just wanted to scream every child is different. And defiantly in my experience they will do it when there good a ready!

Trusting your motherly instinct is oh so necessary in so many integral parts of mother hood. This being one !!

Much love 

Rhianna Xx

Ahhh Potty training !

Potty training…..

I potty trainer my eldest only about 4months ago… she was 3 which some say is late but she just wasn’t ready before. She had no understanding of having a wee, which makes it impossible to potty train until they know where going. I was getting worried as she wasn’t showing the signs of needing to go, and than as if by magic over night she started telling me she was having a wee and was starting to request a clean nappy after every wee. At that point I decided to ensure I gave her one so she got used to being clean and dry which iin turn led to her hating being wet which helped so much with the potty training . I found half the battle was getting her just to sit on it once. After she finally caved In it was easy sailing from there. I have had to carry a potty everywhere as she has refused to use the toilet to the point when I try to get her to she screams like I’m cutting her legs off. I have defiantly learnt that children will do things in there own time and cannot be forced, persuaded or bribed. I did use a sticker chart but that was for encouragement more than anything else. As with the initial potty training all of a sudden one day she said she would use the big toilet….. whoop whoop finally I can stop carrying a potty… of how wrong was I. She will use our toilet at home and the toilet at nursery (mini toilets ) but will not use a toilet anywhere else and demands the potty !!

Out of night pull ups!
Wednesday I ran out of pull ups for bed time and completely forgot to buy any so I guess tonight the night to start for dry night! Wee before bed check limit the amount of fluid check go up just before I go to bed and lift her for a wee and…….. she doesn’t go… the next night the same she doesn’t go so I am unsure if she would wake if she actually needed to go. Every night I expect to get woke up by her screaming at 2am that she’s wet the bed but finger crossed, touch wood 2 night down and so far so good.
I’ll keep you call updated on her progress and how I’m coping with interrupted sleep again haha
Much love
Rhianna xx

Things I miss and defiantly don’t miss about being pregnant.

I recently read a blog post by Molly Hunter about the things she took for granted before falling pregnant, which inspired this post. I am currently thinking about adding another addition to my brood..?? Yes I may be totally insane or just have a touch of baby fever, which is my I thought I would write about the things I miss from being pregnant and the things definitely don’t.

Miss :

  • The excuse to eat cake at 5am.
  • Feeling my growing baby in my tummy.
  • Pregnancy Glow.
  • Amazing thick hair and long nails.
  • Feeling amazing whilst fat!
  • The excitement of hospital and midwife appointments to see the baby or hear the heart beat.

Don’t miss :

  • Not being able to reach my toes.
  • Heart burn.
  • Being kicked in the ribs at 2am.
  • Back ache from hell.
  • Restricting foods ( I am a blue steak kinds girl)
  • Everyone feeling it’s there right to rub my belly.

 

I must admit I had a really easy pregnancy both times round. I was over due with both and had to be induced so after two natural births I still haven’t experienced waters breaking naturally, a show or any form of excitement / anguish…  am I in labour am I not? I’ve spent the entire labour bored in hospital wishing I was at home. My daughter I could have honestly carried her for another 6 months, I wasn’t very big and was still very active and mobile. My son Id had enough but I think that was due to having a 20 month at home so I was knackered and defiantly feeling the strain of pregnancy.

I’m still very unsure weather another child is the right thing or not….. I was kinda hoping this would help 🤔.

Anyway that enough of my ramblings

Much love

Rhianna xx

ALL parents need to know about SIDS

Sudden infant death syndrome or SIDS for short is something I believe every parent/guardian should be provided with a lot more information then they currently are both during pregnany and after birth. My personal experience was a 10 minute piece during the 1 and only antenatal classes that was provided.

In the UK, just under 300 babies die suddenly and unexpectedly every year. 300 babies that if people were better informed may still be alive. This statistic may sound alarming, but SIDS is rare and the risk of your baby dying from it is low. Im in no way trying to blame parents as sometimes there is no reason for SIDS many cases I’ve read about are all toooooo simular. Parent and baby nap on the sofa or in a chair and but only parent wakes from that nap.

Most deaths happen during the first six months of a baby’s life. Infants born prematurely or with a low birthweight are at greater risk. SIDS also tends to be slightly more common in baby boys.

SIDS usually occurs when a baby is asleep, although it can occasionally happen while they’re awake.

Do’s

  • Always place your baby on their back to sleep.
  • Place your baby in the “feet to foot” position (with their feet touching the end of the cot, Moses basket, or pram).
  • Keep your baby’s head uncovered. Their blanket should be tucked in no higher than their shoulders.
  • Let your baby sleep in a cot or Moses basket in the same room as you for the first six months.
  • Use a mattress that’s firm, flat, waterproof and in good condition.

Dont’s

  • Smoke during pregnancy or let anyone smoke in the same room as your baby (both before and after birth).
  • Sleep on a bed, sofa or armchair with your baby.
  • Share a bed with your baby if you or your partner smoke or take drugs, or if you’ve been drinking alcohol.
  • Let your baby get too hot or too cold. A room temperature of 16-20C, with light bedding or a lightweight baby sleeping bag, will provide a comfortable sleeping environment for your baby.

Providing parent with more information and more facts will helo to save lives. My particular antinatel tutor to quote said ” you really shouldn’t sleep with your babies but we all do it ” now how is that imprinting the severity of SIDS on new parents??

I do apologise if it’s seems like I am ranting it just irritates me! On a nicer note I was lucky enough to stumbles across a lovely gentle man who’s grandson unfortunately lost his life to SIDS, however his family have used this experience to set up an amazing charity Charlie’s kids Who are trying to educate America, they also have a beautiful book sleep baby safe and snug.

     Sleep baby safe and snug can be        purchased from Amazon 

And Amazon uk

There is also The lullaby trust which is a uk based organisation so please visit there websites Charlie’s kids and  The lullaby trust as the information they provide is invaluable. 

I really hope this helps any new parents out there.

Much love

Rhianna xx

The truth about mother hood!

Since When does becoming a mother make you a permanent chair and snot rag? I’m sure this wasn’t in the baby books!

From the day your beautiful little bundle of joy is born you have this picture perfect life in your mind that everyone has so graciously helped you paint… but they have somehow “accidentally left out most of the truth “

Child birth…… OMG it hurts but it not a pain you can’t take it’s more off an annoying pain like tooth ache, you can cope you just don’t want to! And when the pain becomes truly unbearable it means your baby is finally ready to make an appearance. Pushing is the easy bit your body naturally takes over and tell you what to do, but you must listen to your midwife and pant when your told you! I didn’t listen with my daughter and ending up with more stitches than you could count.
Keep hydrated after birth as you will be so sore and urinating is so so so painful so it needs to be diluted as much as possible!
From the moment your baby is born they will do nothing but scream when you try to chance there nappy,give them clean clothes for the 100 time that day as they have either pood or thrown up on them and bath them. To be honest there completely ungrateful creatures haha.
As they get older they will hurl food as you ,wipe there snotty noses on you, use your trousers to clean there grubby sticky hands all at the same time as using you as a permanent chair/ climbing frame.
When it comes to Sleep it’s over rated who needs it anyway !

Unfortunately my old eldest is 3 so I can’t give you the inside into hormones or teenagers but when we get there I’ll let you know!
Much love
Rhianna xx